1. The groom-to-be is to be referred to for the duration of the night/weekend/week as 'The Stag' at all times. 'The Stag' variants are also permissible (e.g. Stagger, Stagatron, Bambi). A forfeit is required for anyone who calls The Stag by their real name.
2. Each of the non-stags is allowed to create their own title, which The Stag must then use for the duration of the night/weekend/week. Since The Stag gets his own pretentious title, so should everyone else. A forfeit is required if The Stag calls a non-stag by their real name.
3. From 7pm (or your own designated hour) until the following sunrise, The Stag is not allowed to choose their own drink. If he requires a drink, a non-stag must select one for him. Anything fluid enough to be swallowed is deemed a drink.
4. If The Stag requires the toilet, he must request the permission of a non-stag. The non-stag must flip a coin; if The Stag guesses the side of the flipped coin correctly, he can use the facilities. If he guesses incorrectly, he must wait another 10 minutes before he can ask again. If he is caught relieving himself without permission, a forfeit is required.
5. At any point during the night/weekend/week, a non-stag can declare 'Waterhole'. When 'Waterhole' is declared, The Stag must consume the nearest drink, even if it isn't his. This may result in having to mine-sweep, or drink washing up liquid. It is non-negotiable.
6. The Stag must turn over his phone at the start of the night/week/weekend. He is not allowed any contact with the outside world. Non-stags can use his phone as they see fit.
7. It is the duty of the best man to send a message to the fiancé along the lines of "Ignore that last txt, he's ok now", or "Just out of A&E and it's been reattached".
8. Non-stags can add new rules at any point during the night/week/weekend. If The Stag challenges the new rule, he must receive a forfeit.
So long as the Stag isn't injured or receives any damage which will effect the wedding photos, anything goes. Eyebrows take a month to grow back.
Alternative Drinking Game
Everyone knows Ring of Fire, Kings and Boat Races. They succeed in lubricating an evening, yet they are quite unimaginative in their scope. For a drinking game with a difference, attempt to play The Box Game.
- Find a cardboard box. An empty beer box is ideal, one end open, the other closed. Place the box on the floor, with the open end pointing to the ceiling (room for maneuvering around the box is essential).
- Each player must take it in turns to pick up the box using their teeth, and their teeth alone. Only their feet are allowed to make contact with the floor; use of elbows, knees, or forehead/nose is not allowed. You can balance yourself by gripping your own ankles/legs. You must bend, lean and stretch in order to pick up the box.
- Each player is allowed three attempts to pick up the box. If the player fails to pick up the box, they must see off a pint. If the player succeeds, the go through to the next round.
- Before the next round commences, each of the successful players must drink a shot of a chosen beverage. The top inch of the box is then ripped off; the players must thus stoop lower in order to pick up the box. This process then continues, seeing the successful players finding it harder to pick up the box due to the box becoming smaller with each round, and more alcohol entering their system with each round.
- If the players are talented at this game, you will see the box reduced to a single sheet of cardboard with no edges at all. At this point, the remaining players must attempt to pick up the cardboard at the same time. They cannot use their hands to unbalance each other, but headbutting is allowed. The winner is the one who successfully manages to 'suck up' the piece of cardboard.
It should be noted that trousers are at risk of being ripped, whilst others may face-plant the floor. Happy Boxing.